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Profound, but Sometimes Dumb, Quotes From the
World of Sports
Page Contents:
Aerobics
Auto Racing
Baseball
Basketball
Boxing
Football
Golf
Hockey
Horse Racing
Soccor
Sportscasters/Commentators
Tennis
"Sports do not build character. They reveal
it." -- Heywood Hale Broun (1888-1939), in James A. Michener's Sports in America, 1976
The difference between a successful person and others is not
a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will. --Vincent T. Lombardi
Aerobics:
"The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said:
'If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.'" - Rita Rudner
Auto Racing:
"It's basically the same, just darker." -Alan Kulwicki, stock car
racer, on racing Saturday nights as opposed to Sunday afternoons, 1991
"The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical." (Murray Walker)
Baseball: "Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very unorderly
world. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can't get you off." - Bill Veeck (1914-1986),
franchise owner and promoter in Major League Baseball, best known for his flamboyant publicity
stunts.
"I'm rich. What am I supposed to do, hide it?" -Detroit Tiger Lou Whitaker, arriving in a
stretch limo for a players' union meeting during the 1994 baseball strike.
"I dunno. I never smoked any
Astroturf." -Tug McGraw, asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf
"There is one word in America
that says it all, and that word is, 'You never know.'"
-Pitcher Joaquin Andujar There's nothing in the world I wouldn't do for Walter O'Malley. There's
nothing he wouldn't do for me. That's the way it is - we go through life doing nothing for each other. ---Gene Autry
"I told [GM] Roland Hemond to go out and get me a big name pitcher.
He said, 'Dave Wehrmeister's got 11 letters. Is that a big enough name for you ?'" -Eddie Eichorn, White
Sox owner Going to bed with a woman never hurt a ballplayer. It's
staying up all night looking for them that does you in. ---Casey Stengel "Rome
wasn't born in a day."- Johnny Logan, Milwaukee Braves shortstop
"You
don't save a pitcher for tomorrow. Tomorrow it may rain." --Leo Durocher, baseball manager
"I lost it in the sun!" -Billy Loes, Brooklyn Dodgers Pitcher, after fumbling
a grounder. "That picture was taken out of context."- Jeff
Innis, NY Mets pitcher, on a bad picture taken of him
"I
love sports. Whenever I can, I always watch the Detroit Tigers on radio." - President Gerald Ford "The similarities between me and my father are different." - Dale Berra, Yogi
Berra's son "They throw Winfield out at second
and he's safe." - Jerry Coleman, Padres broadcast announcer I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me.---Chicago Cubs
outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model "Me
and George and Billy are two of a kind."-- baseball player Mickey Rivers, talking about his relationship with Billy Martin
and George Steinbrenner
"Winfield goes back to the wall.
He hits his head on the wall and it rolls off! It's rolling all the way back to second base! This is a terrible thing
for the Padres!" - Jerry Coleman, Padres radio announcer
"My
goals are to hit .300, score 100 runs, and stay injury-prone."-- baseball player Mickey Rivers
"The pitcher has a blister on the index hand of his pitching finger."-- San Diego
Padres broadcaster Jerry Coleman
"You can pitch a gem and
lose, but you can't lose when you win."- Eric Show, San Diego pitcher
"I
threw about 90 percent fastballs and sliders, 50 percent fastballs, 50 percent sliders."- John Butcher, Texas Rangers
pitcher
"Either you give me what I demand or I'll take
what you're offering!" - Joe Torre, St. Louis Cardinals, during salary negotiations
"They brought me up to the Brooklyn Dodgers, which at that time was in Brooklyn."- Casey
Stengel, baseball great
"I wasn't in a slump. I just wasn't getting any hits."- Dave Henderson.
Oaklnad A's player, when he finally ended an 0-for-20 batting record, April 1990 "I knew we were in for a long season when we lined up for the national anthem on opening day and one
of my players said, 'Every time I hear that song I have a bad game.'" - Jim Leyland "Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean."- Pedro Guerrero, St. Louis Cardinals,
on sportwriters "All I said was that the trades were stupid and
dumb, and they took that and blew it all out of proportion." - Ron Davis, Minnesota Twins pitcher, commenting on press
reports quoting him as criticizing team managers for trading top players
"People
think we make $3 million and $4 million a year. They don't realize that most of us only make $500,000." - Texas Ranger
baseball player Pete Incaviglia "Bruce Sutter has been around
for a while and he's pretty old. He's thirty-five years old. That will give you some idea of how old he is."
- Ron Fairly, San Francisco Giants broadcaster
"Yeah, but
I love you more than football and basketball." ---Tommy Lasorda, after his wife accused him of loving baseball more than
her. "I'm a four-wheel-drive pickup type of guy, and so is
my wife."- Mike Greenwell, Boston Red Sox outfielder
Basketball:
"Tom." -Tom Nissalke, New coach of the NBA's Houston Rockets, when asked how
he pronounced his name, 1966
"I have a God-given talent. I got it from my dad." -Julian Wakefield, Missouri
basketball player
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."-Senior basketball
player at the University of Pittsburgh
"Ball handling and dribbling are my strongest weaknesses."- David Thompson, Denver Nuggets player
"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to." -Shaquille O'Neal
on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece.
"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or
an aunt." -Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous
at practice, 1982.
"I'll always be Number 1 to myself." -Moses Malone
"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees." -Jason Kidd
"Let us be about setting high standards for life, love, creativity, and wisdom.
If our expectations in these areas are low, we are not likely to experience wellness. Setting high standards makes every day
and every decade worth looking forward to." -- Greg Anderson, American basketball player
Basketball player Chris Washburn, commenting on his ability to drive to the basket, "Yeah, I can go to my right and my
left. That's because I'm amphibious."
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body." - Winston Bennett,
University of Kentucky basketball forward
"I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six
times I've been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over again in my life. And that is
why I succeed." -- Michael Jordan
Boxing:
"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time
it is." --Lou Duva, Veteran boxing trainer, on the spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota, 1996.
"He
(Julio Cesar Chavez) speaks English, Spanish, and he's bilingual, too." -Don King, boxing promoter.
"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious"---
Alan Minter.
"It's not a matter of life and death. It's more important than that."- Lou Duva, on the upcoming fight of his protégé against
boxer Mike Tyson
Boxing promoter Don King about his relationship with boxer Cesar Chavez: "We have
a marriage, like a father and son."
"There have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious." (Alan
Minter)
"I was in a no-win situation, so I'm glad that I won rather than lost." (Frank
Bruno)
Football:
"He's the about the size of a lot of guys that size." -Offensive coordinator
Gary Crowton, on QB Cade McNown
"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.-New Orleans Saint
RB George Rogers
The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength,
not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will. --Vincent T. Lombardi
"One man practicing sportsmanship is far better than 50 preaching it." -- Knute
K. Rockne
"The word 'genius' isn't applicable
in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -Joe Theisman, quarterback and sports analyst.
"If we hadn't given them those first four touchdowns, it might have been different."
- Hokes Bluff (Alabama) high school football coach H.K. "Cootie" Reeves, after his team lost 53-0 in the state Double A title
game
"You guys line up alphabetically by height." -Bill Peterson, a Florida State football
coach
"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only:
Super Bowl." -Bill Peterson, football coach
"He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings." -Torrin Polk, University of
Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins, 1991
"I don't care what the tape says. I didn't say it." -Football coach Ray Malavasi
"I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid." -Former football player/announcer Terry Bradshaw
"I'm not allowed to comment on lousy officiating." -Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints
G.M., when asked after a loss what he thought of the refs, 1986
"I only know how to play two ways and that's reckless and abandon."- Magic Johnson,
former Los Angeles Lakers guard
"I'm the football coach around here
and don't you remember it." - ex-Houston Oiler and Florida State coach Bill Peterson
It's my job to make sure none
of these guys wakes up with seven hookers and a pound of marijuana. ---LeRoy Butler, Packers safety on taking over the role
as team leader.
"Don't tell your problems to people: eighty percent don't care; and the other
twenty percent are glad you have them." - Lou Holtz (b. 1937) U.S. Football coach
"He doesn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Of course, there are lots of
other words he doesn't know either." - San Diego Chargers coach Sid Gilman on one of his first year players.
Golf:
"Then I was skinnier. I hit it better, I putted better, and I could see better.
Other than that, everything is the same." -PGA Senior Tour player Homero Blancas.
"If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at
it, it's golf."--Bob Hope
"The real test in golf and in life is not in keeping out of the rough but in getting out after we are in."--John H. Moore
"Golf is essentially an exercise in masochism conducted out of doors ...."
--Paul O'Neil
"If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball."
- Jack Lemmon
Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of
you, and the fastest are those behind. - Unknown
There's no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes,
and return with three enemies. - Unattributed
Golf was once a rich man's sport, but now it has millions of poor players. - Unattributed
An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice: once before swinging, and
once again after swinging. - Anonymous
"His nerves. His memory. And I can't remember the third thing." -Lee Trevino on
the three things that go as a golfer ages.
"I couldn't care less about all those fiction stories about what happened in the
year 1500 or 1600. Half of them aren't even true." - John Daly, pro golfer, explaining why he wasn't interested in literature
as a college student
"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." (Greg Norman)
"That's inches away from being millimetre perfect." (Ted Lowe)
Hockey:
"Better teams win more often than the teams that are not so good."
-Tom Watt, ex-Maple Leaves coach (his team was not so good)
"Gentlemen, I have nothing to say. Any questions?"- hockey player Phil Watson to reporters
"We have only one person to blame, and that's each other." - Barry Beck, New York
Ranger, on who started a brawl during the NHL's Stanley Cup playoffs
Horsey Racing:
"This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother." -Ted Walsh - Horse
Racing Commentator
Soccor:
"As I say, if we score more goals than them, then we'll win."- Kenny Dalgleish,
U.K. soccer player
Sportscasters/Commentators:
"It's almost like we have ESPN." - Basketball commentator Magic Johnson, on
how well he and James Worthy work together
"And he's got the ice pack on his groin there, so it's possibly not the old shoulder injury."- sportscaster Ray French
"It's a beautiful day for a night game."- Frank Frisch, sportscaster
"Anytime Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points, they almost always win."- Doug
Collins, basketball commentator
"If there's a pileup, they'll have to give some of the players artificial insemination." - Curt Gowdy, television announcer,
during an AFL all-star game marked by heavy rains that flooded the field
"This evening is a very different evening from the morning we had this morning."- David Coleman, British sportscaster
And here's Moses Kiptanui, the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago." (David Coleman)
"There is Brendan Foster, by himself, with 20,000 people." (David Coleman)
"Its a great advantage to be able to hurdle with both legs" (David Coleman)
I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid." -Former football player/announcer Terry Bradshaw
"Are you any relation to your brother Marv?" -Basketball player Leon Wood to announcer Steve Albert
"It's almost like we have ESPN." -Magic Johnson, on how well he and James Worthy work together
"We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite." (Murray Walker)
Jimmy Hill: "Don't sit on the fence Terry. What chance do you think Germany has of getting through? Terry Venables: "I
think it's 50-50."
Tennis:
"I'm glad you're doing this story on us and not on the WNBA. We're so much prettier
than all the other women in sports." -Martina Hingis in Detour Magazine, 3/98 issue.
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