Bizarre Stuff

Bizarre Stuff

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PAGE CONTENTS
Bizarre Facts About Some Monster Movies
Bizarre Insurance Claims

Bizarre Life Forms

Bizarre Sporting Failures

Bizarre Ad Translations

Bizarre 911 Calls

Bizarre Inventions

Bizarre Celebrity Firings

Bizarre Crimes

Bizarre Deaths

Bizarre Excuses for Missing School

Bizarre Medical Notes

Bizarre Newspaper Headlines

Bizarre Quotes

Bizarre Town Names

Bizarre URLs

Bizarre Phobias

Bizarre Humans

Bizarre Work Excuses

Other Bizarre Stuff

Bizarre Facts About Some Monster Movies
Boris Karloff, who starred as Frankenstein, had to wear 22-pound size 24 boots. He also donned two pairs of pants with steel struts shoved in them, and a double-thickness quilted suit. Karloff's facial makeup was one-sixteenth of an inch thick, and the bolts on the side of his neck left long-term scars.

In Boris Karloff's second big monster flick "The Mummy", he had to be wrapped every day in linen and gauze, and was covered with mud.

Bette Davis wanted the part of Mrs. Frankenstein, but was turned down because she was "too aggressive."

Among the lighting tricks in the classic film Dracula: twin pencil-spotlights were shined in Bela Lugosi's eyes to give Count Dracula his legendary hypnotic stare. The Castle Dracula and Carfax Abbey sets were so expensive to build that Universal Pictures kept and reused them. You can spot them in numerous Universal films of the '30s.

Lou Chaney, Jr.'s werewolf makeup in "The Wolf Man" took five hours to apply every day. The werewolf costume was actually made of yak hair.

Bizarre Insurance Claims
I thought the window was down but found it up when I put my head through it."

"The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."

"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian."

"The pedestrian had no idea what direction to go, so I ran over him."

"I was thrown from my car as I left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."

"I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries."
Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.

Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

Bizarre Life Forms

Strange creatures, jellyfish are comprised mostly of water-- more than95 percent-- and have no brain, heart, or bones, and no actual eyes.

The male seahorse, not the female, carries the embryo of the species.The female fills the male's brooch pouch with eggs, which remain inthe swollen sac for a gestation period of eight to ten days.

Most spiders have eight eyes. These are arranged on top and near the front of the head, usually in two rows of four each.

Bizarre Sporting Failures

Wallace Williams ran in the 1979 Pan-American Games marathon, but was so slow that by the time he reached the stadium it was locked and everyone had left.

To fight the heat in the 1950 Tour de France, Abd-El Kader Zaag drank a bottle of wine and promptly fell off his bike. After sleeping it off by the side of the road, he got back on and rode off - in the wrong direction.

Russian athlete Ivanon Vyacheslav was so excited to win a medal at the 1956 Melbourne Olympics that he threw the medal high into the air in jubilation. Unfortunately it landed in Lake Wendouree where, despite a frantic search, it remains to this day.

Preparing for a bout at the 1992 New York Golden Gloves Championships, boxer Daniel Caruso psyched himself up by pounding his gloves into his face. In doing so, he broke his nose and was declared unfit to box.

After beating 1,000 rivals in a 500-mile race, Percy the racing pigeon flopped down exhausted in his Sheffield loft and was promptly eaten by a cat.

Bizarre Ad Translations

Translating U.S. ad slogans into other languages doesn't always work...

In China, a Coca-Cola ad used Chinese symbols to sound out "Coca-Cola" phonetically. The soda company withdrew the ad after learning the symbols "Co" "Ca" "Co" "La" meant "Bite the wax tadpole."

In Brazil, an American airline advertised that its planes had "rendezvous" lounges, not realizing that in Portuguese "rendezvous" means a place to have sex.

According to a book called The Want Makers, "In Taiwan, Pepsi's 'Come Alive with the Pepsi Generation' was reportedly translated on billboards as 'Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the dead.'"

In French Canada, Hunt-Wesson attempted to use its "Big John" brand name by translating it into French as "Gros Jos," a colloquial French phrase that denotes a woman with huge breasts.

When General Motors introduced the Chevrolet Nova in Latin America, it was obvious they didn't know their Spanish. Ads all across Latin America heralded the arrival of the new, reliable Nova, which in Spanish means "Doesn't go."

[From Uncle John's 4-Ply Bathroom Reader]

Bizarre 911 Calls

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one
Caller: Hi, is this the police?
Dispatcher: This is 911. Do you need police assistance?
Caller: Well, I don't know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey? I've never cooked one before.

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband.

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darnn...I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster. Damn....
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What where you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the police.

A call came into 911 Emergency because two couples were going to share a hotel room and there weren't enough towels.

A man called 911 and said: "Please connect me to Seitzerland."

A lady called 911 because of a fight going on in a parking lot. When asked to describe the combatants, she said: "I'll try. There's one man, and he's dressed like Elvis. He's kicking another man who's laying on the ground and screaming 'You ain't nothing but a hound dog.'"

Another person called to report he had the hiccups.

A thirteen-year-old boy called to report he had "stuff" coming from his navel. Paramedics examined the boy and all they found was belly-button lint.

A male complainant called and requested police call gas stations on all exits of I-95 to find out which ones were open.

A woman called emergency to report she had seen a wild mouse in her house.

Someone called 911 to report the parrot got out of his cage and was in a tree outside.

A man broke up with his girlfriend and wanted police to go by her house and report to him the owners of any cars, other than hers, in her driveway.

A man called to report he had a roach stuck in his ear.

A guy called to ask if they delivered dope. When the person answering told him it was the Sheriff's Department, he hung up.

Another winner called to ask when the Cinco de Mayo celebration was. (Cinco de Mayo means the 5th of May, in Spanish)

A female complainant called to request a police officer come to her residence to change the battery in her smoke detector. She couldn't reach it.

A drunk called 911 to order a pizza.

A person called to find out the number to the police station.

Bizarre Inventions

In the 1980's, French women Dominique Peignoux, Yvette Guys and Francoise Dekan marketed a musical napkin that was placed inside a baby's diaper and played "When the Saints Go Marching In" as soon as it became wet.

It was in 1966 that America's Thomas J. Bayard invented a vibrating toilet seat, acting on the belief that physical stimulation of the buttocks is effective in relieving constipation.

Artificial sweeteners
Speaking of botched lab jobs, three leading pseudo-sugars reached human lips only Because scientists forgot to wash their hands. Cyclamate (1937) and aspartame (1965) are byproducts of medical research, and saccharin (1879) appeared during a project on coal tar derivatives.

LSD
Swiss chemist Albert Hofmann was trying to come up with a chemical to induce childbirth. Instead he developed lysergic acid diethylamide, or LSD. After he tried a bigger dose, he made another discovery: a bad acid trip.

Potato chips
Chef George Crum concocted the perfect sandwich complement in 1853 when - to spite a customer who complained that his fries were cut too thick - he sliced a potato paper-thin and fried it to a crisp.

James Moreau developed a brassiere in 1988 which surrounds the breasts with water, so that a buoyant force provides improved and independent support for each breast. A transparent version is suggested for those who wish to make a fashion statement.

In 1984, Inventor Timothy Zell developed a method of growing unicorns that are of higher intelligence and physical attributes, They are also said to be useful as a guard animal. What you may not want to know is the method involves surgical alteration of a one-week old goat, so that its two horn buds will grow together.

Bizarre Celebrity Firings

George Michael was sacked from his Saturday job at British Home Stores for not wearing a shirt and tie in the stockroom.

Madonna was fired from New York fast-food restaurant Dunkin' Donuts for squirting jam at a customer.

Mickey Rourke lost his job as a cinema usher after getting into a brawl with a colleague.

Boy George was sacked from his job as a shelf-stacker at Tesco for wearing the store's carrier bags. Tesco deemed his appearance 'disturbing.'

Roseanne Barr got fired from her job as a salad lady at Chuckarama in Salt Lake City for refusing to enter the walk-in freezer after a painful visit to the dentist.

Eric Sykes lost his job at a cotton mill for singing Bing Crosby's 'In the Blue of the Night' with an empty bucket on his head.

Dusty Springfield was fired from her sales job at Bentalls for making a mess of a demonstration and fusing the store's entire lighting system.

Peter Finch was sacked as copyboy on the Sun, Sydney's leading newspaper of the 1930s, for emptying a jug of water over the editor's head.

Sidney Poitier was fired from his job parking cars because he couldn't drive. He got first gear mixed up with reverse and crashed into another car.

Bizarre Crimes

In September 1992, robbers in Las Vegas held up a van thought to contain gambling chips, only to find that it was carrying potato chips instead.

In 1998, a guard was caught smuggling a wad of money in his underpants out of a bank in Atlanta when a tiny security-dye capsule exploded, blowing a hole in his trousers.

In 1998, a would-be Texas grocery store robber went to the trouble of disguising his face with a balaclava but forgot to remove from his breast pocket a laminated badge which bore his name, place of employment and position within the company - an oversight spotted by at least a dozen witnesses.

A 1975 raid on the Royal Bank of Scotland in Rothesay degenerated into farce when, on the way in, the three would-be raiders got stuck in the bank's revolving doors and had to be helped free by the staff. Undeterred, they returned a few minutes later and announced that it was a robbery. The staff thought it was a practical joke and refused to pay up. While one of the men vaulted the counter and twisted his ankle on landing, the other two made their escape, only to get trapped in the revolving doors again.
Copyright 2010 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved. Please feel free to forward this, in its entirety, to others.

Henry Smith was arrested moments after returning home with a stolen stereo. His error was having tattooed on his forehead in large capital letters the words "Henry Smith." His lawyer told the court: "My client is not a very bright young man."

Michael Robinson rang police to deliver a bomb threat, but became so agitated about the mounting cost of the call that he began screaming "Call me back!" and left his phone number.

Paul Monkton used as his getaway vehicle a van with his name and phone number painted in foot-high letters on the side.

Poacher Marino Malerba shot a stag standing above him on an overhanging rock -- and was killed instantly when it fell on him.

A man convicted of robbery asked the Texas Court of Appeals to overrule his guilty verdict on the basis of a self-incriminating answer given at his trial. During a break in the trial there was concern that the suspect had fraternized with some witnesses, who were to take the stand against him. The judge asked the suspect to tell him exactly which witnesses he had contacted and the man answered, "The ones that I robbed."
[Thanks to Leland Gregory's "The Stupid Crook Book" available on www.RealWacky.com ]

In September 1992, robbers in Las Vegas held up a van thought to contain gambling chips, only to find that it was carrying potato chips instead.

In 1998, a guard was caught smuggling a wad of money in his underpants out of a bank in Atlanta when a tiny security-dye capsule exploded, blowing a hole in his trousers.

In 1998, a would-be Texas grocery store robber went to the trouble of disguising his face with a balaclava but forgot to remove from his breast pocket a laminated badge which bore his name, place of employment and position within the company - an oversight spotted by at least a dozen witnesses.

A 1975 raid on the Royal Bank of Scotland in Rothesay degenerated into farce when, on the way in, the three would-be raiders got stuck in the bank's revolving doors and had to be helped free by the staff. Undeterred, they returned a few minutes later and announced that it was a robbery. The staff thought it was a practical joke and refused to pay up. While one of the men vaulted the counter and twisted his ankle on landing, the other two made their escape, only to get trapped in the revolving doors again.

LOS ANGELES - A Los Angeles man with a good-as-gold TV alibi has been awarded $320,000 in a wrong-man murder charge. Juan Catalan, 28, who spent five months in jail in the 2003 slaying of a 16-year-old Sun Valley girl, sued the L.A. City Council for police misconduct after his attorney produced irrefutable evidence he couldn't have done it. Catalan had insisted he was innocent and that he was at an L.A. Dodgers game with his 6-year-old daughter at the time. Unable to find any trace of him in the game tape, attorney Todd Melnik learned the HBO comedy "Curb Your Enthusiasm" had been shooting at the ball park that day. There, among the discarded, unused tape was Castalan eating a hot dog in the background. Catalan was not a fan of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" before his time in jail, attorney Gary Casselman said. "He is now."
Copyright 2006 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.

One criminal broke into the basement of a bank through a street-level window. In the process, however, he suffered from several lacerations. When he realized that he could neither get the money nor climb back through the window, he panicked and called 911.

In England a gang hired a man to drive their getaway car for a series of bank robberies. As the gang came fleeing out of bank with the loot the man panicked and caused the car to stall. It was later revealed that not only did the man not have a driver's license, he had never operated a vehicle.

Two criminals in France decided to break into a bank from a neighboring building. After hours of drilling through the wall to reach the banks vault, they finally broke through. However, when entered the room instead of the vault, they were standing in the middle of the restroom.

Two men in Kentucky tried to pull the front off of an ATM by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pick-up truck. However, instead of pulling the panel off the machine, they pulled the bumper off the truck. When they fled, they left their bumper, along with their license plate still attached to the ATM.
Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.

Bizarre Deaths

Attila the Hun
453 AD --- bled to death from a nosebleed on his wedding night.

Catherine the Great - Empress of Russia
1796 --- a stroke, while going to the bathroom.

Isadora Duncan - actress
1927 --- accidental strangulation when her scarf caught in a car wheel.

John Glasscock - musician (Jethro Tull)
1979 --- heart infection caused by an abscessed tooth.

Frank Hayes - jockey
1923 --- heart attack during a race. His horse, Sweet Kiss, won the race, making Hayes the only deceased jockey to win a race.

Tommy Tucker - musician
1982 --- carbon tetrachloride poisoning sustained while he was finishing floors in his home.

Tennessee Williams - writer
1983 --- choked to death on a nose spray bottle cap that accidentally dropped into his mouth while he was using the spray. He was 71.

Bizarre Excuses for Missing School

These are actual excuse notes from parents (including original spelling) from some schools in Texas.

My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.

Bizarre Medical Notes

"The skin was moist and dry."

"The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week."

"The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed."

"The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as stockbroker instead."

"While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home."

"When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room."

"She is numb from her toes down."

"The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately."

Bizarre Newspaper Headlines

Cause of AIDS Found - Scientists

Doctor Testifies in Horse Suit

City May Impose Mandatory Time for Prostitution

Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Axe

Grandmother of Eight Makes Hole in One

Kicking Baby Considered to Be Healthy

Why You Want Sex Changes With Age

Boys Cause As Many Pregnancies As Girls

Cemetery Allows People to be Buried by Their Pets

Man Held Over Giant L.A. Brush Fire

Antique Stripper to Demonstrate Wares at Store

Sudden Rush to Help People Out of Work

Deadline Passes for Striking Police

Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.

And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.

Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.

Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

Christmas sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

Bizarre Quotes

"I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes." --Emo Philips

"Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it's worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot." -Ellen DeGeneres

"I can't think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they're dead." - Laura Kightlinger

"New York's such a wonderful city. Although I was at the library today. The guys are very rude. I said, "I'd like a card." He says, "You have to prove you're a citizen of New York." So I stabbed him." ---Emo Philips

"When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas..." ---Emo Philips

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious." - Alan Minter, Boxer

"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness." - Alicia Silverstone, Actress

"How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby." - Anonymous Manufacturer

"This is no longer a slum neighborhood. I haven't heard of a Cubs fan being shot in a long time." - Anonymous Wrigley Field Neighbor, Chicago, IL

"During the scrimmage, Tarkanian paced the sideline with his hands in his pockets while biting his nails." - AP report describing Fresno State basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian

"You guys line up alphabetically by height." - Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach

"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl." - Bill Peterson, football coach

"The internet is a great way to get on the net." - Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate
"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada." - Britney Spears, Pop Singer

[Source: Goodquotes.com]

Bizarre Town Names

Horneytown, North Carolina
Whynot, North Carolina
Hicksville, Ohio
Knockemstiff, Ohio
Slaughterville, Oklahoma
Idiotville, Oregon
Virginville, Pennsylvania
Sweet Lips, Tennessee
Ding Dong, Texas
Looneyville, Texas
Butts, Virginia
Imalone, Wisconsin
Toad Suck, Texas
Intercourse, Pennsylvania
Unalaska, Alaska
French Lick, Indiana

Bizarre URLs (All Real)

1. Who Represents is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity. Their Web site is www.whorepresents.com.

2. Experts Exchange is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com.

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at www.penisland.net.

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at www.therapistfinder.com.

5. There's the Italian Power Generator company, www.powergenitalia.com.

6. And don't forget a vacation at Lake Tahoe, www.gotahoe.com. (The nearest 'hoe's are around Reno)

7. If you're looking for IP computer software, there's always www.ipanywhere.com.

8. The First Cumming Methodist Church Web site is www.cummingfirst.com.

9. And the designers at Speed of Art await you at their wacky Web site, www.speedofart.com.

Bizarre Phobias

alektorophobia - fear of chickens
aulophobia - fear of a flute
clinophobia - fear of going to bed
ecclesiaphobia - fear of churches
eisoptrophobia - fear of mirrors
geniophobia - fear of chins
genuphobia - fear of knees
gymnotophobia - fear of nudity
ichthyophobia - fear of fish
levophobia - fear of the left side
linonophobia - fear of string
meteorophobia - fear of being hit by meteor
nephelophobia - fear of clouds
odontophobia - fear of teeth
ouranophobia - fear of heaven
pediophobia - fear of dolls
pogonophobia - fear of beards
siderophobia - fear of starts
stygiophobia - fear of hell
triskaidekaphobia - fear of the number 13

Bizarre Humans

Juan Baptista dos Santos - He possessed two functioning penes and three scrota, the outer two of which each contained a single testis.

Josephine Myrtle Corbin - Known as the The Four Legged Lady, he extra legs were part of a twin that did not split correctly. Each of her smaller inner legs was paired with one of her outer legs.

Gabrielle Fuller - Born in Basle, Switzerland, in 1884, the Half Lady had a perfectly formed upper body which ended smoothly just below the waist.

The Human Unicorn - In 1930, a Chinese farmer from Manchukuo was discovered by an expat Russian banker. The Russian was able to take a picture of the man who apparently had a 14-inch spire-like horn growing from the back of his head.

Bizarre Work Excuses

"I forgot what day it was. I thought it was the weekend."

"My wife and son took both cars, and when I went outside, there was nothing in the driveway."

"I am stuck in the blood-pressure machine down at the Wal-Mart."

"I'm sorry I didn't make it! My car broke down; I ran out of gas; my mother died; I had to go to the doctor; there was an earthquake. It wasn't my fault!"

"My wife makes more money than I do, so I have to stay at home with our sick son."

"My roommate locked me in the bathroom."

"I hit a mountain lion on the way to work."

"The jury I was on was sequestered, and we weren't allowed to leave or contact the outside world."

"The dog was asleep behind the car, so I couldn't back out of the driveway."

"Sorry. I thought I had already put in my 2 weeks' notice."

Other Bizarre Stuff

Julia Carson, who as her tearful family gathered 'round her coffin in a New York funeral parlor, sat bolt upright and asked what the hell was going on. Celebrations were short-lived, due to the fact that Mrs. Carson's daughter, Julie, immediately dropped dead from shock.

John Bloor, who mistook a tube of superglue for his hemorrhoid cream and glued his buttocks together.

Passengers on a jam-packed train from Margate to Victoria averted their eyes while John Henderson and Zoe D'Arcy engaged in oral sex and then moved on to intercourse ... but complained when the pair lit up post-coital cigarettes in a nonsmoking compartment.

A housewife, distraught over her husband's unfaithfulness, decided to throw herself out of the window of their third floor apartment. She didn't realize her husband was walking beneath. She survived, he did not.

ISRAEL - An Israeli man suffered a heart attack after he had a visit from a call girl in his hotel room. Contrary to any preconceived notions, the 48-year-old businessman sustained the attack not because of ruckus activity, but due to the fact that the call girl was his own daughter. The mere sight of his child as she entered the room sent the man into such shock that his heart failed on him. After returning home, the man's wife decided to divorce him and vowed to put her daughter back on the "right path." It is safe to say that the man was heart-broken.

On August 16, 1264, at precisely nine o'clock in the morning, Inetta de Balsham was hanged. The king's messenger arrived a few seconds later with a reprieve. The hangman ran up the stairs and cut the rope with a sword. The victim's face had already turned blue, but she survived.

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